Volume I/Part 29: "In 24 Hours"

*SCENE 1: "86,400 Seconds, Part II"


...Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick: Pause!!!

Gotta catch my breath sometimes. Sometimes, I got re-vamp my mind.....especially when the wires misfire and start to cross at whatever crossroads I may be facing at that particular moment.

Pause

Dire times create desparation. If I were clairvoyant - I would precisely predict the exact moment I rise & fall. The number of beats my heart will have in this life. The number of breaths I have been pre-destined to take. And ultimately, the date and time of my demise.

Pause

Would you REALLY wanna know...

Pause

...if your mind could truly show you the future?

Pause

48 hours ago, I would have been at work for all of 15 minutes (it is currently 11:45am, July 29, 2010). But as the "judges" would have it, I was told - my services were no longer needed. THIS is the reality we ALL speak of when we say


"I'm keepin' it Real!"


So...back to the barrel with the other crabs. The form in which one judges you on a job is similar to deciding whether one article of clothing should stay in the closet. To live another day of being matched up with a kool pair of shoes...and worn.........VS...........taking the article of clothing to the Goodwill.

I'm hanging at the Goodwill. I never missed a day of work, despite my...


"Fucked up situation"


...but I was still told I was no longer needed or....I no longer needed to return. Truth is, I ain't even mad. I mean........I know what kinda worker I am. I know what I DID and didn't do. And I met a few kool ass people while I was working there. The part I'm discerning is how totally fuckin' heartless the act was.

I look at the world like - how is it, the Mutha/FathaFuckas out here who don't give a rat's ass about taking care of their children - can KEEP their jobs, REGARDLESS of their performance and/or actions..........but then on the flip coin, it always seems like the ones TRYING to make it the right way - end up losing their shit due to numbers, technicalities or total bullshit?

I'm one of them play by the rules cats. But I'm also one of them cats who'd rather you be straight the fuck up HONEST with me as opposed to finding a "loop hole" to get rid of me. I believe someone working with me, who has a little more authority - MAY have played a part in it....but, truthfully - itz all speculation...and the outcome won't change. Fuck being angry about it......I don't have 1 of the 86,400 seconds to spare on being mad today. I'm on my search, once again...


Tick-Tick-Tick-Tick..........TICK.


*SCENE 2: "86,400 Seconds, Part I"


...The sombrero fallout doesn't necessarily register to a 5, 6 and 10 year-old's eyes.


"Daddy's HOME!"


They can't read the thoughts in my mind. The very thoughts you're currently reading. They can't tell, behind the head of the Blue Jey tattoo, with the Phi Beta Sigma letters above it...that my heart is bleeding. They don't necessarily know about the massive headaches daddy's had the past two days...


"86,400 seconds...times 2"


...or that I'm looking into their happy eyes, thinking...


"What. The. FUCK. Am I. Gonna Do. NOW!?"


What they see......what they see is a Hero. They see Daddy as being "bulletproof".....able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. A web-slinger. And yes.......the one who can turn green and rip outta his clothes when pushed to the highest point of pisstivity. It doesn't register to them yet, that I am human. And for me, itz better that they don't realize it.

I smile.....not fake. But...a genuine smile. But on the inside..............they don't see me crying out. Like WAILIN' - becuz I wanna take them on a cruise that I can't (yet) afford. They don't see the part of me who got really down about the fact that I had to cancel a July 5-7 vacation, becuz I had to work...and I shoulda fuckin' took the damn vacation ANYWAY, cuz I don't even have the job anymore.


"I lost $300"


They know the music to Daddy's songs....they know sum of the (EDITED) words.....they know my voice when the songs start. My daughter Cheyenne, blushes, every time she hears my voice on a track..........but they don't know where the words come from. My lyrics don't say...


"I just wanna fuck every girl in the world"


...they simply say, what the hell I TRULY feel.

Part of the stress is money based. But, I'm not FOOL ENOUGH to allow myself to believe that WHEN the money starts flowing so freely that I can't even dream up a way to spend it all.....that all problems in life will magically cease. I read a comment recently where a sista stated in 140 characters:


"Don't come at me being a gentleman and nice. Fuck your love, get your money up!"


I........really didn't know what to think about seeing that. I mean.......she didn't say it to me, personally, but still.......I thought, like, if this is what the world has come to - or if this is where itz headed.........what will my sons and daughter be facing when they're in their 20's!? I can't shield my daughter forever...nor can I, my sons. I'm laying a very dominant foundation. And I can only pray that, when they face certain situations where a choice has to be made...my voice will resonate and echo loud and clear in their minds. Every one of the 86,400 seconds in a 24 hour period are VITAL to my being a father to my kids. And they don't even see the bullshit I'm dealing with. The love I give to them is not money based.

I'm their Hero......and I wear no cape.


Copyright © 2010 by Monty Jey.

Mo.Jey Words: "2 Steps...Back(Words)"

I stand adjacent to the complacent plastic faces
Pacing in backwards circles
Counter-clocked
Unwise wit fake eyes
that lie to the sun's rise

The sights they see in darkness
don't necessarily produce the light
I see with my heart
And the beats get lost in translation
as if sounds were never born to be heard

The father of my children
prays for redemption
and breathes
The same tainted air as the ones
who marked him as prey

I pray for the most fortunate
Like I weap for the homeless "have-nots"
In 6 degrees of devestation

We are not equal
We are NOT equal

But 2 times 2 equals 4
More than the answer of NIL...before God
I question the validity of "keepin it real"
Because the vanity of insanity
STILL resides on Reality Boulevard
Where feelings get charred and broiled
as the scars smile and dance
in the depths of your soul

I know it well enuff to tell
I was MUCH safer in my womb world existence
than I am, dealing with this bitch shit

I am TWO degrees DEEP in my glorification
My 3rd degree...a P.H.D.
from the streets of NAPlantis

I got 99.5 problems
and they ALL holdin' a gun
I got 9 to 5 reasons
I'm over and done
Tired of busting my skinny ass
for you, You and YOU
only to get the memo a half hour late as it states:

"Mr. Jey, thank you for wearing your blackface while making our money...your services are no longer required."

You are NOW expired in dire times
counter-clocked............OUT
inspired by the very fact that the sky
continues to fall, north - like the star

And when itz all said and stated
I'm only saturated by the world around me
as it evaporates every 86,400 seconds
My weapon resides inside my left and right brain
and it is NOW
fully cocked, loaded and aimed
Let it rain.......cuz I AIN'T lookin' BACK!

-Mo.Jey (in HD)


Copyright © 2010 by Monty Jey.