"I'm Left-Handed in my Right Mind!"
*SCENE 1: "The End of My Life...?"
...11 Months became an eternity. Strange days from the rewind. I started retracing the steps the last time I wept...but then the tears stopped falling like the froze up...
"I'm Arctic!"
The pattern of chatter that became mumbles, humbled me. And now, I gotta rewrite my life on loose leaf pages that burn. Soon, you'll smell the fumes of my burning flesh. You'll scan your memory......and remember how your father was stressed. How it looked as if he aged 10 years in the year, 2010. How the stress...eventually sped up the inevitability of his mortal demise. My only prayer is that the demise I speak.....doesn't come before you become men (Ahmir & Thomas).......or before you are a woman (Cheyenne).
I've cocked glocks for DAYS! The daze of each 86,400 seconds, playing out before my eyes. I'm reaching for the night sky, wailing in prayer. Trying to find the answers. Trying to grab 'hold of a star in the sky as you sleep peacefully.......to take back what is formerly known as...
"My LIFE!"
I'm in critical condition. No one but God knows. I, personally, send him the S.O.S., daily. I speed dial him on the jack, in the middle of nights.
1. I CAN'T SLEEP!
2. And He never does
I've throw hail marys in braille to friends, family & foes...........but I'm guessing...in these hours...the lines are jammed. Is this my final test? Like........to insure that I will forever remain humble in my success, everything I've ever known has been stripped away piece by piece.
Or is this the start where you take my heart to wipe your feet on. The beginning of the ending. My final rest?
I have so much to show you...in films. I have so much to say to you in songs. I have love letters to write to you in the form of poems & novels. But...I don't have the guarantee of Time.
"Time...is a helluva drug!"
They say the travelin' man never really bends his knees.....becuz he's constantly moving or walking. Or running.......as if time is trying to catch him. Well........I'ma blow that myth out the sky. Becuz, I, Monty Jey, am a travelin' man. And I'm not walking away or running from you. My knees bend, even when they ache........from the heart. And yes.....time is chasing me. But so are the spirits of those who came here, long before my soul entered my mother's 16 year-old womb. The same spirits who allowed me to even come here to begin with. God sent me here for a reason. I know the reason well. And the mission is not close to being completed...yet. There is no escape until the day time flips to triple zero...
"0:00"
...elapsed! This 11 Month "day" had a beginning. It MUST have an ending! And if you're taking the time to REALLY read this, I didn't write it in braille...
"I seen the future wit my own eyes, YES I'm alive/ Wit an Oscar and a Grammy like, I advertised/ Like the truth never dies, til you cut off your ears/ And start believing all the shit that you heard from your peers" -Mo.Jey, "The WAKE UP Show"
*SCENE 2: "The Bend of a Break"
I got stalled for a minute in recording my mixtape, The In10City Mixtape, Volume I. No shame in saying that. Not Keen's fault at all. No fault of mine either.........at least not directly. LIFE fuggin' happens man! Itz a fast pace in a rat race.............meanwhile, I continue to pace myself in this marathon called Life. The IRONY...I just used the same word twice.
The sky is falling. It has been for awhile...
"11 Months"
...and financially speaking........................................LMAO. I'm not gonna touch that right now. It'll make a great story when I exit this storm. I've found out a lot about myself and my place in this world. I found that some total strangers care about what I'm attempting to do where a lotta family members (and some friends) don't. I found that NOBODY on earth believes in ME like I DO! That one......I already knew, but it took me going through literal hell to fully grasp that concept. I found angels on earth in the form of TRUE friends...like Betty Hoggs...and Nena Brown...and Leah Keating, who at times, when I was so low, I couldn't see thru the darkness....they came to the rescue with halos over their heads...and lifted my spirits. For every dark moment where I've thought...
"I should just QUIT and give up on this dream"
...The Keens and ACE ONEs and BradReals and Mr. Kinetiks and Baptiztes and Marshall34s have been there to resuscitate me from the dead! People like my best friends Sean Allen and Joe Elderidge...or Potter P, and Byron Vaughn.....and let's not forget my lil' bro Todd (aka Phox). And of course T.T.!
I say this to say THIS..........every single time the devil has told me to quit or tried to convince ME that I ain't shit...God told or showed me different thru one of the people I mentioned above (and others). So in all the negative things that have taken place over the past year (all of 2010).......I've learned that I have the uncanny ability to bend, repeatedly................
"But I DO NOT: Break!"
Turn every negative into a positive so I can keep my sanity...and SURVIVE. My break HAS to come.
"Change gon' come..."
Copyright © 2010 by Monty Jey
