"So in summation I don't know who you racing I'm already at the finish line with the flag waving..." -Jay-Z
SCENE I. "Southpaw Mentality"
...And if I hadda known the shit was gonna be THIS hard when I made the decision to become an actor at age 12...........I STILL woulda made the same decision!
I'm standing on the line. I'm at the crap table and I gotta heat up my hand. This joint...this is more about life than it is about me being an actor or a emcee. More than me being an artist. This joint is about, life. I guess...I'm a gambling man. And...
"I will NOT...Lose!"
I stress that point...not because I'm a sore sport. Not because I'm arrogant. I say it because...my kids are depending on their father, NOT losing. Part of what I call my southpaw mentality is the ability to simply believe in myself enough to know I will not lose. Willing myself to win! Now...when you paste that next to the fact that "success" - as defined by the dictionary - has not come as soon as I would have liked...or dreamed......you can begin to see where that "southpaw mentality" has to be very firmly planed inside walls of the gray matter inside my skull. It constantly has to be refined, reverbed & rehearsed...in order for me to continue to fight for the realization of every dream I believe in.
I been in this, like - ultra-reflective state the past few days. I'm realistically speaking to my place, not only in the entertainment business, but also my place in the universe.
"When U-N-I-Verse @ War"
This bitter cold Naptown air has my ass trapped inside my upper room on tonight as my kids sleep. I'm searching my "attic" for real live thoughts of, how I can better myself. Better myself within the mundane and sometimes, demeaning part of trying to seriously network with other people...other human beings...on a (gasp) networking website.
Everybody has their grind man. So, I don't collapse when people don't hear me speaking. I just look it as...
"their eyes & ears ain't caught up to what I'm saying..........yet."
And......well - to bluntly state it, I don't kid myself to think that I'm the ONLY talented actor or emcee out here lookin' for his or her shot. There is literally a MILLION AND ONE muthafuckas out here who either look or dress like me.......or they have the exact same mentality I have...
"Lose Yourself." -Eminem
I don't roll with a back up plan because I am SURE of what I can do when I'm cast in a film. I KNOW what I can spit when given a track. I know how creative my mind is, when coming up with dialogue for a script. And I'm confident about my eventual success. I'm not selfish. I mean........I just ain't the type of cat who has to have ALL the shine. I ain't flashy. Or arrogant. And NONE OF THAT should ever be taken as a sign of weakness or me being a naive nigga from country ass Indianapolis, Indiana. That most definitely ain't the case. I mean, the very fact that I AM from Nap means that I got an instant chip on my shoulder. Not a negative chip...but a chip, nonetheless. Thing is...and this ain't no knock on any of my peers in New York City, L.A. or Chicago...or Atlanta, but...where one might take shit for granted because they have sum success or they live in one of those cities......I don't. I don't take NUTHIN for granted! You spend 12 hours on the set of your film, I'm trying to do at least 16. You do a 6 or 7 hour session...I'm tryna do 12 to 14...and I might bang out half my album in that time provided that there's no bullshittin' going on. Point I'm making is.......I will out work and out hustle the next cat, EVERY time. Period.
I really look forward to working with some actors who are "better" than I am. To me...that will only push me to work harder. I look forward to collabs with some emcees who flow better than me...becuz I ain't gonna Adrian Peterson that shit.
"Fuuuuuuuuumble!"
I do not fumble when given the opportunity. Ask film director, Skee Skinner (YouTube that name and press play on that trailer...).
I do not fumble when given the opportunity.
I do not fumble when given the opportunity.
I do not fumble when given the opportunity.
When I lived in L.A....a well known actor once told me, that in this business...the last "unknown" cat left standing - is the one who makes it and becomes successful. I am relentless. I do not waver. I do not quit. I never sleep. And I will not stop. I promised my mother an Oscar by age 50 and I promised myself a Grammy before age 40. Not that I feel awards mean this, that or the other. It just simply says, I have set my bar high...and I ain't gon' stop til I reach the bar and leap my ass over it.
I am an actor for hire.
I am an emcee for higher.
In the words of the Goodie Mob, I AM: STILL Standing...
Thank God...(my time is near)...
-WhoIsMo.Jey
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